Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!

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  (484): I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia! http://tfl.nu/lfqp
  Replies (81) Good night (3440) Bad night (614)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.

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  (781): He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie. http://tfl.nu/a1e2
  Replies (12) Good night (4010) Bad night (1022)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  bc i get to see you. naked.

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  (203): are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid? (203): bc i get to see you. naked. http://tfl.nu/db7h
  Replies (24) Good night (8453) Bad night (1532)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.

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  (306): Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off. http://tfl.nu/xf2g
  Replies (10) Good night (4302) Bad night (1099)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.

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  (610): It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays. http://tfl.nu/4je9
  Replies (9) Good night (3138) Bad night (917)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  should my penis look like a turkey

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  (319): should my penis look like a turkey http://tfl.nu/u56w
  Replies (18) Good night (982) Bad night (5420)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays

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  (608): First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays http://tfl.nu/7wbr
  Replies (7) Good night (1957) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.

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  (601): I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it. http://tfl.nu/j6vg
  Replies (16) Good night (1141) Bad night (2138)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.

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  (509): I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore. http://tfl.nu/24ew
  Replies (10) Good night (1145) Bad night (2229)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.

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  (402): I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out. http://tfl.nu/gdzx
  Replies (3) Good night (2088) Bad night (927)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.

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  (412): He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit. http://tfl.nu/k42l
  Replies (5) Good night (1762) Bad night (862)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.

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  (512): No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies. http://tfl.nu/7qkv
  Replies (17) Good night (2345) Bad night (1073)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.

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  (812): I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more. http://tfl.nu/ty1z
  Replies (14) Good night (1567) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love

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  (727): Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love http://tfl.nu/6r91
  Replies (2) Good night (943) Bad night (245)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.

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  (708): Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore. http://tfl.nu/5csy
  Replies (2) Good night (559) Bad night (208)

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