Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  how do we leave politely?

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.

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  (316): how do we leave politely? (1-316): Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke. http://tfl.nu/9vnx
  Replies (13) Good night (4163) Bad night (940)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear

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  (847): but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear http://tfl.nu/o189
  Replies (16) Good night (4441) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.

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  (757): He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish. http://tfl.nu/lwox
  Replies (42) Good night (20462) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter

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  (918): The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter http://tfl.nu/j5l8
  Replies (13) Good night (8526) Bad night (1209)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen

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  (626): i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen http://tfl.nu/216j
  Replies (4) Good night (3114) Bad night (1136)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?

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  (905): was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree? http://tfl.nu/357c
  Replies (6) Good night (2081) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before

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  (717): Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before http://tfl.nu/lay4
  Replies (6) Good night (2715) Bad night (976)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...

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  (708): Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked... http://tfl.nu/0j0c
  Replies (8) Good night (2347) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.

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  (509): idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow. http://tfl.nu/e8dm
  Replies (7) Good night (2478) Bad night (830)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.

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  (214): Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again. http://tfl.nu/x4c6
  Replies (2) Good night (932) Bad night (596)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.

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  (817): Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one. http://tfl.nu/mit2
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (1085)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.

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  (978): I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick. http://tfl.nu/61g0
  Replies (13) Good night (1965) Bad night (1306)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with

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  (609): this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with http://tfl.nu/msu7
  Replies (0) Good night (448) Bad night (519)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  That is romantic

  (1-309): View more from Illinois

  Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care

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  (309): That is romantic (1-309): Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care http://tfl.nu/p5uo
  Replies (0) Good night (456) Bad night (285)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.

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  (978): I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher. http://tfl.nu/db58
  Replies (4) Good night (442) Bad night (260)

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