Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(480): View more from Arizona

how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?

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(480): how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back? http://tfl.nu/0voi

Replies (35) Good night (861) Bad night (3499)
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(571): View more from Virginia

Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober

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(571): Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober http://tfl.nu/ny6e

Replies (22) Good night (6028) Bad night (1259)
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(812): View more from Indiana

My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.

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(812): My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here. http://tfl.nu/tf3w

Replies (17) Good night (759) Bad night (4681)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.

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(410): Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back. http://tfl.nu/wlso

Replies (7) Good night (6286) Bad night (1091)
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(262): View more from Wisconsin

There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.

(1-262): View more from Wisconsin

That's funny. Are they weird looking???

(262): View more from Wisconsin

OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.

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(262): There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart. (1-262): That's funny. Are they weird looking??? (262): OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS. http://tfl.nu/egmz

Replies (38) Good night (9085) Bad night (1513)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.

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(507): ...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back. http://tfl.nu/m5i6

Replies (6) Good night (984) Bad night (3241)
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(519): View more from Ontario

I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.

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(519): I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it. http://tfl.nu/dyf5

Replies (8) Good night (2994) Bad night (1004)
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(654): View more from

And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.

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(654): And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out. http://tfl.nu/4u7j

Replies (5) Good night (2422) Bad night (863)
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(513): View more from Ohio

hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team

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(513): hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team http://tfl.nu/e17f

Replies (8) Good night (3203) Bad night (669)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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(870): Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth (1-870): I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come http://tfl.nu/shj4

Replies (5) Good night (1872) Bad night (720)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!

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(203): Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best! http://tfl.nu/yqk0

Replies (3) Good night (1081) Bad night (484)
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(520): View more from Arizona

This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.

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(520): This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina. http://tfl.nu/8kic

Replies (9) Good night (932) Bad night (378)
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(714): View more from California

How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?

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(714): How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot? http://tfl.nu/pt30

Replies (2) Good night (968) Bad night (353)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps

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(404): Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps http://tfl.nu/z4wh

Replies (2) Good night (549) Bad night (326)
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(407): View more from Florida

If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.

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(407): If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger. http://tfl.nu/1vfs

Replies (3) Good night (590) Bad night (227)

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