end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize