honey bunches of taint.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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