I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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