I can't breathe out the right side of my face
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
