I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
