Texts From Last Night

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  (253): View more from Washington

  I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.

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  (253): I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy. http://tfl.nu/efip
  Replies (12) Good night (1073) Bad night (3227)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!

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  (480): FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her! http://tfl.nu/hjc1
  Replies (27) Good night (2781) Bad night (1562)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.

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  (843): Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place. http://tfl.nu/9vyk
  Replies (36) Good night (1768) Bad night (6243)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.

  (1-702): View more from Nevada

  I've always been the spiritual type.

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  (702): When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion. (1-702): I've always been the spiritual type. http://tfl.nu/v0oc
  Replies (27) Good night (7812) Bad night (977)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

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  (334): She threw up in the hot tub how's your night http://tfl.nu/eq5g
  Replies (3) Good night (802) Bad night (3214)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule

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  (519): Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule http://tfl.nu/w6uq
  Replies (4) Good night (2806) Bad night (1736)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?

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  (201): Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries? http://tfl.nu/cmm3
  Replies (10) Good night (1021) Bad night (1343)
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  (305): View more from Florida

  I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.

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  (305): I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel. http://tfl.nu/egxv
  Replies (3) Good night (1443) Bad night (598)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  God you're perfect.

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.

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  (303): Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal. (1-303): God you're perfect. (303): I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier. http://tfl.nu/2wzm
  Replies (5) Good night (2131) Bad night (590)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".

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  (713): So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom". http://tfl.nu/chqv
  Replies (8) Good night (947) Bad night (407)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.

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  (386): He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids. http://tfl.nu/ivvs
  Replies (2) Good night (555) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (928): View more from Arizona

  So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time

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  (928): So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time http://tfl.nu/6mpm
  Replies (5) Good night (1500) Bad night (423)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar

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  (775): Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar http://tfl.nu/pwk7
  Replies (3) Good night (288) Bad night (573)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family

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  (440): At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family http://tfl.nu/uvyb
  Replies (8) Good night (747) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis

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  (919): we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis http://tfl.nu/tix6
  Replies (3) Good night (395) Bad night (103)

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