I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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