I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
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he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Even my vagina gasped.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
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drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.