it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
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So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
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I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....