Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso