Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(712): View more from Iowa

Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"

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(712): Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me" http://tfl.nu/camp

Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (1026)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale

(401): View more from Rhode Island

at least we're not in new jersey

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(612): i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale (401): at least we're not in new jersey http://tfl.nu/f78q

Replies (59) Good night (955) Bad night (1792)
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(646): View more from New York

so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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(646): so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper" http://tfl.nu/y6hx

Replies (9) Good night (852) Bad night (2494)
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(906): View more from Michigan

I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.

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(906): I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon. http://tfl.nu/l4la

Replies (25) Good night (6927) Bad night (1450)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived

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(603): dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived http://tfl.nu/mii6

Replies (16) Good night (5169) Bad night (690)
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(410): View more from Maryland

Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!

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(410): Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA! http://tfl.nu/7pku

Replies (348) Good night (44928) Bad night (5107)
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(302): View more from Delaware

It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex

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(302): It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex http://tfl.nu/xtt5

Replies (20) Good night (3561) Bad night (1397)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree

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(215): i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree http://tfl.nu/vm1y

Replies (2) Good night (1636) Bad night (976)
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(330): View more from Ohio

You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.

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(330): You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka. http://tfl.nu/837a

Replies (6) Good night (1022) Bad night (1053)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.

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(337): I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet. http://tfl.nu/ug81

Replies (5) Good night (3374) Bad night (751)
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(630): View more from Illinois

i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out

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(630): i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out http://tfl.nu/xbjc

Replies (3) Good night (979) Bad night (576)
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(765): View more from Indiana

Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.

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(765): Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater. http://tfl.nu/rsqd

Replies (4) Good night (1642) Bad night (674)
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(941): View more from Florida

So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.

(941): View more from Florida

I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.

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(941): So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar. (941): I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/b83h

Replies (4) Good night (689) Bad night (801)
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(773): View more from Illinois

You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.

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(773): You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends. http://tfl.nu/9daq

Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (548)
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(937): View more from Ohio

So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?

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(937): So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here? http://tfl.nu/g6gi

Replies (7) Good night (492) Bad night (313)

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