Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
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I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
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Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.