Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
