when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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