My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
