i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You are the jesus of drinking
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
