i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
