Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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