mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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