you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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