I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
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I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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