When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
