dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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