he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
