she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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