I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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