i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
