dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
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i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
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haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
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