he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
