Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
