Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
That's how pantless uber rides happen
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
