hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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