I wish I only lived at night.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
