But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
