you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
