I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
