Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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