Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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