he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
