He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Randomize
