Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He felt like a one man threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize