i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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