is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
