Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
