If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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