I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize