I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
