I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
