Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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