my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Randomize
