she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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