So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Dating After Heartbreak
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"