Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.