Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES