what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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