i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
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