I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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