watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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