I'm going to jail i love you
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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