It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
