Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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