I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
