if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
It's blow job season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize