My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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