the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
