All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I cannot find my penis.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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