Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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