Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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