It's Friday. Sex?
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
