i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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